"You've been here longer than I have," Vincent admits. Regardless of how much that is. A month? Two maybe? Barely more. "But so far the period they can happen in seems to be thirty days or less."
And always near or on the thirteenth does that time period begin. For some reason. Fog, though? While not everyone experiences the same Trials wholesale, he doesn't recall hearing about anyone else speaking about fog. Though given how unsettled Sephiroth is, maybe it was something the ones caught up in it didn't talk about openly.
What strikes Vincent as unusual is the narrative that the Trial was interrupted and unresolved. He closes his eyes and reflects on that, trying to recall all the pieces of information he's picked up over his time in Folkmore before finally speaking again.
"It's possible the duration ended before the resolution of the Trial. That seems to happen from time to time." Where people are stuck and trapped in a trial until the duration's end. Take the ghost town for example; stuck in the maze or dying and being trapped in the routine of the spirits there.
"Or it could have had something to do with the recent visitors. Hm." ...Which certainly means that it might indeed be unresolved. Vincent opens his eyes again and tilts his head enough to regard Sephiroth carefully.
"What is it you mean by unresolved? Can you tell me what happened?"
Will you tell him what happened? That might as well be the actual question.
The line is wound alittle around one hand, a tiny piece of bait stuck on the end. Poles and bobbers and the like were nice, but hardly necessary, and he could accomplish plenty with just a line and save the rest of Lore for more important things. Stingy? Maybe, but carrying a fishing pole around would get inconvenient. A wire and a hook was easy.
There's no response immediately, it has to be thought about carefully. Admitting any of it ... least of all that in spite of Hojo's rigorous efforts he absolutely could still be influenced by fear.. "It was, near as I can tell, Exile's routine. Fear, sadness, guilt, and the insistence you talk about it, admit your actions. Like the wildfires."
It's wholly inaccurate, but it fits the pattern. Something suffers, alleviate it through confession. "It chose monstrous representations of the Rhadorans, my team and my sire for targets, and shrouded all in mist and darkness and rot." Blood and rust. Names he didn't know, names he might have been told in passing and didn't remember. Things dying in test tubes. Twisted, warped dogs, mutilated nurses, empty graves..
"I made no confessions, and there was, duly, no reward. It just ... ended." That's one hell of a paraphrase. But in the sheltering shade of his bush, Casimir curls a little more tightly in on himself, tentacle looped several times around his neck and chest.
And bait? Bait can be made of many things, none of which need to be conjured. It was practical, useful and overall very much the efficiency expected of Sephiroth. Even when it is not for survival, but a means to relax. Keep hands and thoughts busy while letting the peaceful serenity of the region settle in.
Vincent has seen- and experienced- the heart on the shoulder nature of the teen's companion. But while he might be tempted to seek out Casimir's reaction, it would take a more evident shift of his attention to the shade under which the guard hound rests. Such an obvious bid could lose more than he gained from it. Besides, he has more than enough context without the sight of the coiled beast to discern what twisted emotions lay underneath the understated report.
"Hm. Maybe..." Maybe like the wildfires. But... "Or... like you were made to suffer a living nightmare."
A twisted reliving of every sin. Vincent is... familiar with the sensation, though fog was never a part of it. And his tone goes as far to suggest empathy for the experience. Waking hardly helped; like as not why Sephiroth had mentioned the experience of fear along with sadness and guilt. And while the teen doesn't speak of the blood and rust... at least one of those were inferred by the impatience to begin Ilarion's ritual. Let's get on with it before the walls rust around us.
Quite frankly, it sounds like it might have been a trick of the more malicious fae, perhaps ended when their time was up or because they left their prey after sensing danger. Vincent would be more inclined to think of that rather than the Trial (though weren't the Unseelie and Seelie part of the Trial itself?) and either way there isn't much reason to look further than that or probe about what Sephiroth saw once he snapped out of the waking nightmare.
"You've mentioned the rot before. Was that the only time?" Has it returned? Or has it just been Exile's fog that reminds him of what could happen again.
"It was too methodological for a dream. Too grounded in reality, for all that it twisted things. The set goals were ... obvious in retrospect; find this evidence of wrongdoing and admit it, deal with that terrible thing and discuss your feelings, opportunities to confess, as Thirteen is wont to do. Leading you to the conclusion she wishes." It's unfairly blaming the Fox, Thirteen had nothing to do with it. But it fit the pattern since he arrived, every Trial had some manner of surrendering secrets to others.
Sephiroth is not inclined to talk about those things to people he does trust, a stranger? Not unless whatever awaited was worse than the confession. "I thought perhaps the Summer Court had something to do with it but they are not by my research, that sort of Court. If it were winter.." But it hadn't been the Unseelie, which left Thirteen. Or a third, unrealized option! He shakes his head, dismissing the idea. "I've never seen something like it before or since, but that's the way of Trials too. She knew what she was doing. I'm just glad she didn't see fit to resume in the library."
She'd have had a captive audience! But perhaps Baba Yaga wasn't so cruel as to do so while they were there for another purpose. "In the end, I failed. I didn't confront any of the things laid out for me, confessed nothing, and would have left the other victims to die had the creatures made by the Trial not been happy to attack each other instead of just me."
He meant it was like living through a nightmare. Very real, with the pain and possibly even physical injury sustained lingering after it ended. Unlike dreams where that would probably be a phantom memory... mostly, while the mental hardship is very real.
"Worse, since a dream means you can wake up." And in this instance, it was only the abrupt ending, not the teen's actions, that caused it to finish. Vincent is inclined to agree that the Seelie would have not executed something so malicious. They were probably dangerous but in another way. Would the Unseelie have such power in the summer heat? ...It's fair to say no, which did leave Thirteen as the likely cause.
"I'll look into it. See if Thirteen ever continues a Trial she has ended like that." Among whatever he'd been seeking of late. This time, the former Turk does risk a glance around- as it would be only fitting to do so from time to time- and in that catches a glimpse of Casimir. Even if he is not still wrapped tightly, surely the guard hound is ever watching the route back to Exile's swamps?
"..." Vincent returns his attention to Sephiroth. The particular phrasing of leaving victims to die; what did that mean? Under duress and horror, anyone might have fled when their own survival instincts kicked in or were distorted by trauma. And the teen was unlikely to be an exception.
But there is another way to interpret that; a fact that may never be proven one way or the other given the nature of the monsters that populated the 'Trial'. "There were others trapped with you?" That alone would be valuable information when Vincent went to look for others who experienced it.
There will be enough time given to respond to that; Vincent does not expect Sephiroth to speak in detail about the monsters or the victims he may have left to die. At least, not without further direct probing which the gunman holds off on for the moment.
"I suppose relics would do no good." Why mention them? A rhetoric statement behind Vincent's thoughts. Even if Sephiroth could contact him for help in the future, if he were transported elsewhere and left in a fog, how would he know where he was? And would he even be able to reach him?
Of the latter, one might as well think that is a problem for what Vincent speaks of next. And yet...
"...Sephiroth. Have you heard of a Familiar bond? I've been... looking into it." Ah, the reason he's been 'not around as much'.
The hound watches the fog still, alert and wary. He could approach, there was some comfort to be found in holding onto each other, but it felt a little silly to do around other people, like a child clinging to a favored stuffed toy for comfort. "There always are. Who else are you supposed to bare your soul to?"
Thirteen was big on interpersonal relationships. She'd force them if she had to, and if it was awkward and uncomfortable, so be it.
"..I didn't try." Relics.. calling for help. "Even if it did work, bringing someone into that on purpose.." It's a coward's admittance. They'd see things he didn't want them to. Learn things he'd rather keep buried. "One of the creatures took on the semblance of the Professor. He didn't care who his specimen was. Inflicting that on anyone wouldn't be right."
It spoke. It had thoughts, ideas. Maybe only because that was more terrifying to Sephiroth than a mute one that held the semblance of a monster.
For a moment the two are unified in the way they glance at Vincent instead of their dual tasks, equally puzzled. "I've heard it mentioned." And that's as far as it went, he hadn't cared.
"I suppose that's true." There's always other victims.... excuse him. Participants. A low hrrr noise sounds from the back of Vincent's throat when Hojo is mentioned. But his reaction is often dark when the scientist is mentioned, particularly among those he feels relaxed to be so relatively emotive with.
And to think that foul man had been made manifest to terrorize Sephiroth in a Trial... Yes, the teen gets a look that seems sharp, but the anger is not directed at him. Nor is the hint of anguish. Victims, the lack of remorse on whom the specimens were. Yes that's very Hojo in nature.
But the suggestion that Sephiroth might have been subjected to something so twisted as to watch another undergo the professor's usual games? Maybe, just maybe helpless to act? That hits far too close to home.
Which brings it back to his abrupt statement, questioning the teen's knowledge of Familiars. It's with the puzzled look- one felt from another angle to the degree that Vincent briefly looks to confirm the matched motion of Casimir's glance- that he realizes he might not have filled in some much needed context. Internal thoughts do sometimes need to be external. Usually he remembers, but might he be forgiven for being distracted by this subject?
"I understand the reasoning." Not wanting to call on others and subject them to that. "But... you don't have to bear that alone. I'm no stranger to that nightmare." And Vincent is going to look at Sephiroth directly, red eyes knowing. "While I appreciate your answer might be that's all the more reason not to drag me into it, think of it more like being able to face whatever the Trial wants from you with someone that isn't a stranger."
And isn't a stranger to at least some of those things that the teen wants to leave buried. If it's even possible to join Sephiroth. And.... Yeah that wasn't exactly what Vincent wanted to address when he brought up the familiar bond.
"Sorry, that's... not what I wanted to say, though it's related. The bond. It's a connection between a Legend or Myth and a Familiar. It is... a way to share the stability of my emotions with you. It could let me know where you are. And... your condition. And you mine."
He could have done something, in theory. He hadn't. He would have let it happen and done nothing at all, had Pyramid Head not been in the vicinity.
For a little while, he says nothing, doesn't really move, which suggests he's thinking it over carefully, or at least something connected to what Vincent's said. There's a part of him that immediately whispers weakness. The implication his emotions were unstable - and perhaps they were, based on his observations while also a Familiar - and being hooked up directly to someone else's. Knowing their condition would mean feeling obligated to do something about it.
Not that he wouldn't already. But still.
"I don't think," is the eventual, slow, careful answer, "That having you turn up would allow the others trapped with me to go free, Thirteen would just see it as a good reason to inflict it upon you and them."
It's not a no, because he's still working it out, and what it might have meant for recent events. What could it have changed?
"Yeah, that would have been my hope," Vincent answers. Either pulled in or forced to experience his own personal brand of it. And there is plenty to be had, from three decades ago or the more recent advent of Deepground and the near loss of self to Chaos. Maybe made others to witness it.
But... his hope?
"Wanting to join you in a nightmare... I won't pretend I'd find it pleasant." He has had more than enough of his own. "But I wouldn't mind dealing with far worse so you don't have to be alone."
What would have truly been terrible is not being able to reach Sephiroth and be there. But what might have changed? That... might be easier to answer than one suspects.
"...The bond itself would have been there. As a Legend, your emotions are amplified. It may have made a difference in the outcome, even if it was small."
And... Vincent could have been there waiting for some sign of Sephiroth to emerge from the trial. Or, if it had turned out to be some creature like the Fae inflicting such torment? Then he could have put an end to it abruptly and with extreme prejudice. Or tried to.
But the appeal there? Something that might help even emotions in high stress from being worse under the influence of the teen's Role.
"I wasn't a Legend when the Trial was taking place." He was a Familiar, and he missed it. There was some .. different aspect, a lessening of the pressure of expectation, being something that could simply shapeshift into a beast versus the weight of what a Legend meant. "Even then, I ... couldn't act as I should have."
Hojo had been wrong. He was still capable of such weaknesses. There were still flaws, he was unfit for the battlefield. Emotion was going to get him killed too, that he'd simply come back didn't change the original error.
It couldn't have gotten much worse than it was without Sharon actually dying to his inaction.
He could still feel the heaviness of the disapproval of watching spectres wearing his team's forms. Could still hear the grind of the axe against stone and concrete, if he closed his eyes and listened, felt.
The guard hound shudders like a horse shaking off flies and discorporates in a boil of black smoke that rapidly fades into nothingness.
Vincent had listened. And.... realized Sephiroth was right. The timing had made it more likely than not that the teen was still fitted to the more 'level-headed' role of a Familiar. Yes but still he would have been a presence. Maybe done something. Though he won't be saying it aloud; his error and that but.
Nor did he miss the teen's use of the phrase 'act as he should have'. Something had happened then. And it implied Sephiroth had not just been held back or in a forced to be helpless state. When confronting these monsters, maybe the one shaped like Hojo, he had not been able to act.
Enough that the presence of Casimir is gone, perhaps drawn back into the youth but certainly unwilling to sustain presence. Vincent will be coming back to this. Maybe soon while it is still part of the topic; perhaps another time. But first there is something else to address.
"What is it?" There is no hesitation and no judgement in demanding such a thing, though Vincent's words do not commit until he's heard it.
"If I agree to this, this .. influence over what I think, what I feel. Being able to track me down even if I don't want to be, that kind of ... connection, I expect to come first." It's the single most selfish thing he's ever formulated, bit by bit. Word by word. It has no sense of being thought out ahead of time, how could it be? "What I had heard is a Familiar dedicates themselves to their Myth or Legend to aid in their growth and change." He doesn't look at Vincent but it's rare he ever regards anyone directly for long anyway, maybe some aversion to people noticing just how off his eyes really were.
It's not comfortable for many reasons. "Not their old friends from back home." The gemstone bed of the river glimmers in the sunlight, the wisps of distant mist never stifling their brightness. "Even if they don't deserve having to deal with me, that's too bad for them. You were upset when I told the other one you were not my father. You asked me before what-if. If you want the role of parent, then you will do what parents do, and put their offspring first. Not second, not third, not 'what about your friends from your time'."
"Linked that way, you know when .. if I do go mad, I'll drag you down with me."
Shameful. He knows it, by his bearing, by the tone of every word. "I expect no less than what the Professor has done, and he ... is utterly focused on what he thinks is best for me. Argued for me in front of the other directors even when I failed, dragged me out of containment when I wasn't strong enough and put me back together. The only person in my life to ever fight for me time and again was that embarrassment of a man." His actual father, unloved, despised, a figure of terror and hatred. "If I can't trust you'll do even that much.."
It sounds horrendous to his own ears. He knows the harm his mere existence causes. He's never allowed to forget. "I want a promise that if it becomes a choice between anyone and myself, you will choose me." He expects a negative, with how utterly selfish it is. What right did a monster have in demanding equal status to people, a weapon to want to come before dear friends?
As Sephiroth begins speaking, the narrative is not... entirely surprising. To speak with uncertainty and worry about the possible influence over the teen's thoughts and feelings. And yet... that is not the only reason- or perhaps not the reason at all- for such expression of discomfort. Such a selfish thing, asking to be put first. It is and yet while Vincent's eyes widen a little, it is because he has never heard the younger man come close to this level of... of greed for something. How important must that be to him to go so far outside of the norm to convey it?
These thoughts occupy the gunman's mind- the repetition of what he already knew about the bond between Familiars and the other Roles having importance in the structure but something he'd already known when he made the offer- as he carefully listens to each and every word and its nuance that Sephiroth utters; trying to truly absorb what the youth may be going through in those moments. Even when the silver-haired teen doesn't look at him directly for long, Vincent's regard can certainly be felt. Though for a moment it changes and there's no need to guess for what reason. He's already reacted poorly to Hojo before just in this conversation alone.
Vincent does not like to hear the outline of this warped sense of parenting Sephiroth envisions as 'at least he was there'. It's galling and to his mind possibly far worse than whatever twisted draw Jenova had for the young man ten or so years from now. At least the Calamity had been alien, inhuman. Hojo had turned his ambition, the one thing he perceived was his greatest success and personal achievement, into someone who proffered this as comparable to a loving father who fought for him.
Thankfully hidden by the collar of his cloak, Vincent clenches his teeth against the bitter, sharp opinion he has for that terrible man. As much because it hits hard. And he doesn't want to hear Sephiroth's reminder that Vincent had no room to speak on what good parenting should be. The youth, if he looks up from time to time, may catch Vincent casting his gaze sharply to the ground beside him so as to hide his anger, but he's still listening. And once he composes himself again, that gaze comes back. Vincent finally speaks up for the first time, soon after Sephiroth draws his words to a close.
"Yes, I was upset." He was more upset at the reminder of what his own actions wrought upon the Sephiroth of his time, though it is hard to see them as separate when the teenager is before him here and now. At least in that respect. But it might as well have been upset at not being the young man's father; even if that was only in the way it counts. Honestly, maybe he was just mentally splitting hairs.
"I'd fight with every fibre of my being to drag you back from madness." One of them will win. Vincent doesn't dare suggest it would be him because he simply does not know. Not who has the stronger will, not what this bond will do to affect that. All he does know is that he has a chance at it if he can be there.
And then... Put their offspring first.
"...I chose you when I kept you alive in Cruel Summer." Though there's a brief cast of his gaze to the periphery, Vincent draws it back to Sephiroth before he actually turns away. "It... may have been for Lucrecia's sake then. Her memory and what she would have wanted." A normal blink seems to last too long to be called that when he utters her name. Vincent's voice is growing softer with how quiet it's become, yet the sound of the river shallows tumbling the scattered gem and smooth stones does not mask it.
"But I think... it became you a while ago. I chose you, even if I haven't done a good job of showing it. Or knowing that myself. And... I promise to put you first."
And it's been... months now. Cloud has been in his life, he's met Zack now and there's Aerith's return from the dead too. But so much of what the dark haired man has been doing and focused on is Sephiroth. Awkwardly and yes badly in many ways. And caught in doubts about whether it was for Lucrecia or his friends, or for the boy himself. Maybe some mix of all three that can't be sorted. That... probably won't ever be completely gone; the uncertainty and the truth. At least, Vincent will always question it because to not have his friends and Lucrecia and everything else come in second and beyond- in no particular order- would be to dismiss everything that led to this moment in the first place.
But this request, putting Sephiroth first and drawing a line between that and the others and not crossing it, he can promise in the here and now.
"There are some things we should discuss. Absolutes that you want known now, in case the madness does claim you." And Vincent fights it long enough but cannot drag Sephiroth back. Or will the boy even now tell him to go to hell with him? And then there would be the matter of whether Sephiroth wants a servant- nothing new to the former Turk- who will follow him to hell, or a parent as he's quietly expressed desire for before and even now. But these talks could wait, perhaps never need to occur at all, for what Vincent begins to speak of next.
"...And, there is one thing I need to confess, before you agree."
"Did you?" It's soft. "Had it ever been for me? Or was it the weight of memory, and the sins you speak of?" There's no tone of accusation there but he doesn't need to, the words themselves were enough. "How many decisions, confrontations, how many things have you said to me that were for my benefit and not to soothe your guilt over Mother, or leaving another Sephiroth to his fate? Or to protect your friends from me, steer me away and render me a non-threat to them?"
He remembers being told nobody deserves him. He wasn't going to forget it. It had been about Vincent's friends, their priority, their importance - which may be fair in the circumstances, but he knew who came first. He knew if real violence erupted who Vincent would choose to aid. "Is the burden of a bond offered to help me, or to soothe your sins by bearing the weight of a tether in order to keep me from troubling your friends further? Am I the purpose, or the convenient side effect?"
And he could understand it. If it had been Glenn, or Lucia, or Matt, if they were under threat even by someone he rather liked here, would he hesitate to put himself between them, and draw weapon alongside his team against those he thought of as possibly friends?
But those friends would have the right to be wary if he offered something that could be used purely to benefit others besides themselves. He wouldn't mention any of it if it weren't for the potential influence of that tether. Was it truly for his benefit, or was it a halter to keep him guided the way others felt he should be, render him a little safer for everyone else instead of what's best for him? Would he even know afterward if he was being steered towards some fate beneficial to a specific few people and not the planet at large?
What would it do to him, having it ripped away when returned to his time, entirely on his own? All it could be, could ever be, is a pleasant glaze on a dark and bitter future. Something that could only be here, and thus temporary.
He could allow the selfishness the demand was, when so little else was ever in his hands to be selfish over. It would do no good long term, after all. Vincent would be gone, the link to any stabilizing force gone, and all there would be is violence and death. There would be a price to pay later, and if he had to pay it alone in his own time and on his own planet far from the people to whom its forging would best serve, then there should be something good, something just for him, in the meantime. Something to hold onto, even if just in memory.
The questions deserve some thought. Vincent gives them that, silent for a bit before offering slowly spoken words as if he tries to be careful to get them right the first time.
"Yes."
The simple affirmative comes first, though before being structured by the nuance.
"Because of what I remember and experienced, it can't not be about those things to, Sephiroth. About your mother or my guilt and sins. About my friends. Sometimes, it's hard to separate my past and your present as two different realities. We just don't think that way all the time. I might be less human than I was, but I still make mistakes like that."
He never said Sephiroth was someone who no one deserved. To have someone consciously acting in a way that torments another for their own desires? Yes. He spoke about that. But he's also said to Cloud that this Sephiroth doesn't deserve Cloud's hatred. A pity that had not been witnessed. Well there's only going to be so many things that they ever have time to resolve or speak of. Who knows if that will make it to the fore?
"So to answer how many... I can't. But I'm sure it's been there even in my subconscious."
The former Turk turns his full focus on Sephiroth. Vincent's gaze can be the easiest way to see emotion from the man. Earnest and sincere, trying to drive home the importance of the meaning in his words.
"When you go back, if you meet Cloud or Aerith... they won't be the same ones that found my resting place in Nibelheim." ...Not even the ones here, really are that... probably. It's strange and something that's hard to dwell on.
"If you meet your mother.. your biological mother, she won't be 'my' Lucrecia. But... you will be the first Sephiroth I have come to know. The mad creature of my time was not you. Never will be you in the same way even if you do end up sharing his fate. I can't deny that those things you mentioned haven't shaped things. But the young man I worry about who hasn't been eating, or is going to dangerous situations alone or comes back injured. That night in Wintermute where it would have been easy to think you were an adult. That's only been you. And I do those things for you."
The hug he gave the tired, heartsore teen who looked like his adult self? That was for the boy. Not something calculated by whether it would help Vincent's friends or the world. It hadn't been about what Lucrecia would have wanted him to do.
"The bond is for you. The ones that could speak about forgiveness for my sins.. absolving them. They're dead or gone. What I do for you won't change that."
Vincent will be hurt by the parallels and reminders but certainly he would deserve no less. And he's learned whether or not he desires, can get or even seeks forgiveness, he still must steel himself to face such things from time to time.
But is that enough? Is what Vincent just said something Sephiroth can accept? Particularly as the dark haired man continues with his confession.
"...After I tried to kill you, I didn't know how to approach." When he'd seen the boy for being a boy and not the madman who needed to be stopped. Maybe it had been more for Lucrecia at that time but he'd still been concerned. And then there had been the talk over icecream which had simply cemented that feeling.
"So... I kept watch. But I also disguised myself and came to you."
It is with that, the man shifts his seat and leans forward. In the midst of the action, he shrinks upon himself, themes of red all but disappear to be replaced by black. Fur and tail, pointed ears. The red is still there but only in the eyes.
Until only the Cat remains; quite a vulnerable state if one were to think about it. It always had been a risk. And the cat... no, Vincent speaks.
"This has always been me." There was no cat he took and replaced. Just... him.
He can't help but be skeptical. The chances that Vincent's choices from arrival on were for him were ... astronomically low, and sat at odds with his words and actions. Even making such a demand took more willingness to argue than he could usually dredge up, and now, having said it, there's no more willingness to point out what seems to him to be gaping holes in any such reassurance.
And so he says nothing, there's no counterargument, no questioning any of it no matter what he thought or felt about any of it.
The only time he moves or even looks at Vincent is when the Turk becomes a very familiar black cat, expression as blank as a doll's.
Something changes, irrevocably.
The cat had been a companion for some months. A warm furry point of solace, enough to disrupt routine and insist Nero not trouble the beast, enough to set aside time and resources for care and feeding, but it had been .. a cat. Privy to things he would never allow a sapient being to see, to hear. The shame of childish tears, the aftershocks of fear in nightmare after nightmare, foolishness, games, confessions and arguments with the movies and shows he'd chosen to watch with no audience to see or hear him, all the things that would be humiliating in front of another person, never breathed a word of to another person, but in front of a cat?
A cat didn't care about any of it. A cat didn't give unwanted advice, didn't judge for anything other than an empty dish or a too-tight hold. It was fine. Even if a cat could understand, who would they tell? They couldn't speak.
Vincent is not a cat.
This is not the first time he'd assumed an animal was just that, and found out otherwise. He would never trust another animal again as nothing more than a beast, in any place that had shapeshifters.
There were a thousand little things he'd have never revealed to the man. A raw, unfiltered part of daily life, some ordinary, some utterly bizarre, all not for anyone to know who could understand what a sentence was, or wonder and worry.
An ear flicks. The eyes blink. And the sun actually feels pleasant on Vincent's back. But a truth is not revealed.
There has never been a cat. Only Vincent. Whose voice is his own despite coming from a far smaller body, smaller lungs. Sephiroth had probably seen that before with the chocobo; part of some Familiar magic.
"To be honest, I wasn't sure it would work. But it did and... so I stayed. Too long probably." Because... Sephiroth seemed to need him in that capacity. Some creature, warm and alive and silent but at the same time companionable. It was something Vincent regrets having to ruin. But it couldn't continue if there was to be a bond.
The feline isn't returning to the shape of a man, not yet. But he does crouch down and lay on the ground, tail coiling around his body and waits. With the river breeze rustling his coat and the sun warming all, Vincent might have normally started to doze. Maybe in Sephiroth's lap while he fished. That can't happen anymore either. He doesn't speak again, giving Sephiroth time to think about what was just learned.
Even if he still did need the quiet companionship a pet could bring, it was one that would be denied him now. It was in some ways a betrayal of trust, and upended a part of his routine that he rather enjoyed, found calming in a way he couldn't explain, but wouldn't indulge in again.
The cat settles in a familiar loaf, but it's no longer the same cat. The pet he'd become familiar with the company of simultaneously was gone forever and never existed to begin with. The questions he'd asked of Folkmore at large on how to best care for a cat, now in retrospect, utterly absurd.
It takes a while before he says anything else.
Nothing had changed, and a lot had changed. Vincent had always been privy to the endless parade of things Sephiroth would have otherwise kept to himself. If he'd told anyone, Sephiroth's unaware of it.
There would never be another attempt to seek solace in soft black fur. What's acceptable with a pet is not with a person. Now ... now it would be weird. He'd wanted a leash, some manner of guaranteed control that he wouldn't be able to do more harm than necessary. He didn't think about what it would cost. How could it ever cost him a cat?
Eventually, there's a slow breath, drawn in and let out in a sound like resignation. He'd gotten by without the childish comforts of a pet before, he'd do so again. It would be good practice for what waited for him in his own time.
"How does this work?"
Weren't they supposed to hash out details on what was expected first? Eh.
It was, in itself, a heartbreaking end to something good. It eventually had to be admitted to. There could be worse ways to have discovered it. And it was an absolute must to have either happen before the bond was agreed to. So even if Sephiroth had refused the bond, he'd always lose the cat.
There is not even cold comfort in these truths. But they will be endured.
One ear swivels toward Sephiroth at the sound of his voice. The question. The cat rises and becomes a man again, crouching and finally rising to stand on two feet with all the grace of a practiced shapeshifter capable of easily recentering themselves between two practiced forms.
"There isn't any ceremony needed. I focus on establishing the bond with you. You focus on agreeing to take the bond. Words... probably aren't necessary."
Not really. They're just easier to frame it when it comes to two sentient individuals who communicate more in words than manner and intent. And that's probably all the explanation Vincent can really give about it; to him, it's almost like an instinct, as if he'd always known how. Simple enough.
But Vincent hasn't forgotten about the need to establish absolutes.
"What do you want from me?" A servant? A friend? A father?
"...What absolute act do you want me to take should the worst happen?"
Does Sephiroth, right now, want to be saved? Pulled back from madness? Killed or contained? Or should Vincent follow him to the end game? Sever the bond before he's dragged down?
Both are questions that should, almost must be made before the bond is in place.
That seems simple enough, but he'd learned recently to be more careful about such assumptions when magic was involved. Real magic, that cared about things like a mindset going into it instead of just shoving in some mana and getting out a spell. It's a distraction from the bitter unhappiness of losing his first and only pet, who'd never been a pet at all. Something else to think about, besides already missing a warm cat purring quietly against his chest.
It's a good thing that the second part of that question isn't voiced; what would he do with a servant? What would he do with a father? He had one, and that man was the source of so much misery, another taking that place would be begging for worse.
"A repeat of the moment when you fell under Jenova's sway. One where you can't be pulled back from and where I still have the ability to act. Or... whatever you consider the worst if that is not it."
A stark statement. The bond is for Folkmore and neither of them truly believe it is possible for this Vincent to follow this Sephiroth to that reality. ...And there is always the chance that Vincent will fall under that same sway, simply by being bonded to Sephiroth.
That is, oddly enough, less likely. But it is certainly a possibility.
"Save you? Kill you? Or be your ally, even if it means going to hell with you?"
An important clarification. "You can't return with me to my time. All we have is here." It's so important because it by necessity restricts what any of them could really do.
Save that as far as he can tell, Thirteen doesn't abide true evil in her world. "Mother Jenova isn't here, save what runs through my veins. You can't kill me. Not in a way that matters." There's something aggrieved in that statement, as if it's not a boast but a bitter, unhappy truth. "Thirteen would restore me, or I would restore myself in time. I am killed.. four? Four times? Five? Cloud twice. Your friends as a group and Cloud a couple of times, in rapid succession. What can you do that they could not, that could hope to also circumvent the Fox?"
That doesn't mean Vincent couldn't do anything. Just the usual methods a Turk knows best wouldn't.. really do much.
Maybe Chaos would have had the power. But not Vincent. "What if everyone's wrong, and it wasn't Mother Jenova doing anything at all, and it was simply the other half of my nature finally fully manifesting itself? I am a monster. Some domesticated ones stay safe. Others realize eventually what they are and what they're meant to do, and .. you can't keep them as pets anymore."
Here. The fact that Jenova theoretically could not come here- unless Thirteen willed it- doesn't necessarily cross Vincent's mind. And speaking of that, could someone like the Fox actually change that rule where he could in fact follow? It's a nugget to hold onto if he ever gets a chance to ask. But right now they do have to work with 'here'.
"Here, yes. But since you can return and experience your world from time to time... it's probably best to factor in the possibility." How that would pan out without Jenova directly influencing a 'maddened' Sephiroth once back in Folkmore? Who can say. There are a lot of unanswered questions, even for Vincent. For Cloud and Zack who were there.
"If I can't kill you, then I could contain you." Vincent, who'd closed his eyes in thought, opens them once again to regard the younger man. "There are ways. Not all of them rely on Thirteen's intervention. Or I could make a deal with the Fox herself."
It's not like he hasn't spent time thinking about this in the months since his aborted assassination attempt and subsequent learning that it wouldn't have worked anyway. How to help, but how also to stop the teen who didn't really want to harm people.
"If... I understand it right, the bond might let me exert some influence too. ...If you want it." But maybe he's confusing that with other types of bonds that can be requested. "Worst case scenario, I would know where and in what mental state you're in and can act on it."
For a moment the gunman's eyes shift but this time it's simply another indication of thought. "Hm." It's... not a faulty point at all. The Calamity always seemed to be part of the catalyst, taking advantage of Sephiroth's proximity and mental, physical weakness at the revelations of his past. But what if it wasn't? Or wasn't just that alone.
Monsters are monsters. Fiends are fiends and animals are animals. ...People were people. It was better not to interact with them as if they could be forced forever into a thing they were not. Where did that leave specimens like Sephiroth? Vincent?
"It's... a possibility." One that also should be as it put it, 'factored in' as a possibility. "Monsters tend to respond to strength. Maybe that's why that Sephiroth became obsessed with Cloud." The blond's strength was something that couldn't be measured by numbers and stats or science. Somehow Cloud killed Sephiroth without any enhancements. Somehow overcame being a mere puppet to defeat the man again. And then again.
"What do you propose?" Sephiroth does seem to have thoughts on it. And Vincent does too, but he knows Sephiroth views him as the weaker. And right now, he would be imminently correct, whatever the former Turk meant earlier by 'there are ways'.
"How? No insinuations, those aren't as reassuring as you think." Containment isn't ideal, containment can break. "I think it might.. be an inevitability." He has reasons for that, ones that unsettled him deeply, but weren't really part of average discussion. He didn't consider it completely hopeless, as there were monsters kept as parts of military forces the world over, and they were generally not seen as so dangerous that doing so was prohibitively a bad idea. "I can't change what I am."
An inevitability, but he had .. a decade or two before that time would arrive, didn't he? He might not be mature enough physically, or some other thing, that made it unlikely while he was still small. Except he fully intended to confront Jenova long, long before Nibelheim's fated day to burn.
No comment at ALL on Sephiroth's future obsession. He knew why HE thought Cloud was awesome, if those opinions differed he didn't want to bother guessing why. Was it really just because Cloud defeated him? That's not his reason. Or at least, not only.
He has thoughts on it but not ones that would be effective and he knows it. The most assured path forward is finding a way to keep him dead, before the part of him that is planet devouring interstellar plague stirs awake. "I don't know. I don't know if we're wasting time trying. What if all I'm doing is making it harder for anyone to stop me later?"
Practicing powers he shouldn't have access to simply through ignorance, but once he'd known they were there he'd deliberately started looking into it, testing out what might or might not work - things he wouldn't have done for years yet.
It's put aside, deliberately but with effort. "A problem for future me. I don't think I'm suddenly going to go frothing mad and set about eating everyone I can around me, even if I can understand ... why I might have wanted to."
Vincent agrees to clarify and yet... that agreement seems to be needed, as well as a pause, to collect himself. There's a way he looks around himself as to be clear they're still alone. A subtle suggestion that he's bracing himself. Well... Sephiroth's been around the man enough to probably pick up on the signs. It's not an easy thing to talk about.
"You've seen my other form. And I know you regard me as weaker than you in a direct confrontation. You're right." Hence his reliance on trickery, on wearing the boy down in Cruel Summer.
"Shortly before I came here, I... hmm. You could say I sacrificed the greatest part of my power to save the world. Something I hadn't mastered until the end, in case you're wondering. This was something Sephiroth was involved in."
...As in, why he hadn't used it to confront the Sephiroth of his timeline. And why it was not one of those events that he already spoke of under the influence of ice cream.
"I can go into more detail about it. But I can say it's closer to your power as an adult than I am now. I can ask the Fox to recover that."
There's no indication that Vincent is trying to avoid those details. It's just that... Sephiroth's narrative had other statements that seemed... important enough not to avoid an immediate response by going into detail about Chaos.
"...Harder but not impossible." If only because Cloud seems to have the.... something indescribable to simply match the will and determination of his foes. Vincent's gaze is steady on Sephiroth. "There's nothing that can change what you are. But... that strength you're worried about is something you can use too. Whether it's to resist Jenova or remain resilient against what lies ahead."
Deliberately put aside but not... left to rest it seems. Vincent takes a moment of reflective silence; as much sorting his own thoughts as debating whether it would be a good idea to speak up at all. Then...
"What I know is a mix of speculation. Theories. Some of it is probably close enough. The rest... and Sephiroth's state of mind, I can't say for sure. Do you want me to tell you? Some... are possibilities that might be far from the truth."
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momijizukamori
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Date: 2024-09-13 08:19 pm (UTC)And always near or on the thirteenth does that time period begin. For some reason. Fog, though? While not everyone experiences the same Trials wholesale, he doesn't recall hearing about anyone else speaking about fog. Though given how unsettled Sephiroth is, maybe it was something the ones caught up in it didn't talk about openly.
What strikes Vincent as unusual is the narrative that the Trial was interrupted and unresolved. He closes his eyes and reflects on that, trying to recall all the pieces of information he's picked up over his time in Folkmore before finally speaking again.
"It's possible the duration ended before the resolution of the Trial. That seems to happen from time to time." Where people are stuck and trapped in a trial until the duration's end. Take the ghost town for example; stuck in the maze or dying and being trapped in the routine of the spirits there.
"Or it could have had something to do with the recent visitors. Hm." ...Which certainly means that it might indeed be unresolved. Vincent opens his eyes again and tilts his head enough to regard Sephiroth carefully.
"What is it you mean by unresolved? Can you tell me what happened?"
Will you tell him what happened? That might as well be the actual question.
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Date: 2024-09-13 08:31 pm (UTC)There's no response immediately, it has to be thought about carefully. Admitting any of it ... least of all that in spite of Hojo's rigorous efforts he absolutely could still be influenced by fear.. "It was, near as I can tell, Exile's routine. Fear, sadness, guilt, and the insistence you talk about it, admit your actions. Like the wildfires."
It's wholly inaccurate, but it fits the pattern. Something suffers, alleviate it through confession. "It chose monstrous representations of the Rhadorans, my team and my sire for targets, and shrouded all in mist and darkness and rot." Blood and rust. Names he didn't know, names he might have been told in passing and didn't remember. Things dying in test tubes. Twisted, warped dogs, mutilated nurses, empty graves..
"I made no confessions, and there was, duly, no reward. It just ... ended." That's one hell of a paraphrase. But in the sheltering shade of his bush, Casimir curls a little more tightly in on himself, tentacle looped several times around his neck and chest.
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Date: 2024-09-13 09:26 pm (UTC)Vincent has seen- and experienced- the heart on the shoulder nature of the teen's companion. But while he might be tempted to seek out Casimir's reaction, it would take a more evident shift of his attention to the shade under which the guard hound rests. Such an obvious bid could lose more than he gained from it. Besides, he has more than enough context without the sight of the coiled beast to discern what twisted emotions lay underneath the understated report.
"Hm. Maybe..." Maybe like the wildfires. But... "Or... like you were made to suffer a living nightmare."
A twisted reliving of every sin. Vincent is... familiar with the sensation, though fog was never a part of it. And his tone goes as far to suggest empathy for the experience. Waking hardly helped; like as not why Sephiroth had mentioned the experience of fear along with sadness and guilt. And while the teen doesn't speak of the blood and rust... at least one of those were inferred by the impatience to begin Ilarion's ritual. Let's get on with it before the walls rust around us.
Quite frankly, it sounds like it might have been a trick of the more malicious fae, perhaps ended when their time was up or because they left their prey after sensing danger. Vincent would be more inclined to think of that rather than the Trial (though weren't the Unseelie and Seelie part of the Trial itself?) and either way there isn't much reason to look further than that or probe about what Sephiroth saw once he snapped out of the waking nightmare.
"You've mentioned the rot before. Was that the only time?" Has it returned? Or has it just been Exile's fog that reminds him of what could happen again.
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Date: 2024-09-13 09:36 pm (UTC)Sephiroth is not inclined to talk about those things to people he does trust, a stranger? Not unless whatever awaited was worse than the confession. "I thought perhaps the Summer Court had something to do with it but they are not by my research, that sort of Court. If it were winter.." But it hadn't been the Unseelie, which left Thirteen. Or a third, unrealized option! He shakes his head, dismissing the idea. "I've never seen something like it before or since, but that's the way of Trials too. She knew what she was doing. I'm just glad she didn't see fit to resume in the library."
She'd have had a captive audience! But perhaps Baba Yaga wasn't so cruel as to do so while they were there for another purpose. "In the end, I failed. I didn't confront any of the things laid out for me, confessed nothing, and would have left the other victims to die had the creatures made by the Trial not been happy to attack each other instead of just me."
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Date: 2024-09-13 10:43 pm (UTC)He meant it was like living through a nightmare. Very real, with the pain and possibly even physical injury sustained lingering after it ended. Unlike dreams where that would probably be a phantom memory... mostly, while the mental hardship is very real.
"Worse, since a dream means you can wake up." And in this instance, it was only the abrupt ending, not the teen's actions, that caused it to finish. Vincent is inclined to agree that the Seelie would have not executed something so malicious. They were probably dangerous but in another way. Would the Unseelie have such power in the summer heat? ...It's fair to say no, which did leave Thirteen as the likely cause.
"I'll look into it. See if Thirteen ever continues a Trial she has ended like that." Among whatever he'd been seeking of late. This time, the former Turk does risk a glance around- as it would be only fitting to do so from time to time- and in that catches a glimpse of Casimir. Even if he is not still wrapped tightly, surely the guard hound is ever watching the route back to Exile's swamps?
"..." Vincent returns his attention to Sephiroth. The particular phrasing of leaving victims to die; what did that mean? Under duress and horror, anyone might have fled when their own survival instincts kicked in or were distorted by trauma. And the teen was unlikely to be an exception.
But there is another way to interpret that; a fact that may never be proven one way or the other given the nature of the monsters that populated the 'Trial'. "There were others trapped with you?" That alone would be valuable information when Vincent went to look for others who experienced it.
There will be enough time given to respond to that; Vincent does not expect Sephiroth to speak in detail about the monsters or the victims he may have left to die. At least, not without further direct probing which the gunman holds off on for the moment.
"I suppose relics would do no good." Why mention them? A rhetoric statement behind Vincent's thoughts. Even if Sephiroth could contact him for help in the future, if he were transported elsewhere and left in a fog, how would he know where he was? And would he even be able to reach him?
Of the latter, one might as well think that is a problem for what Vincent speaks of next. And yet...
"...Sephiroth. Have you heard of a Familiar bond? I've been... looking into it." Ah, the reason he's been 'not around as much'.
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Date: 2024-09-13 11:03 pm (UTC)Thirteen was big on interpersonal relationships. She'd force them if she had to, and if it was awkward and uncomfortable, so be it.
"..I didn't try." Relics.. calling for help. "Even if it did work, bringing someone into that on purpose.." It's a coward's admittance. They'd see things he didn't want them to. Learn things he'd rather keep buried. "One of the creatures took on the semblance of the Professor. He didn't care who his specimen was. Inflicting that on anyone wouldn't be right."
It spoke. It had thoughts, ideas. Maybe only because that was more terrifying to Sephiroth than a mute one that held the semblance of a monster.
For a moment the two are unified in the way they glance at Vincent instead of their dual tasks, equally puzzled. "I've heard it mentioned." And that's as far as it went, he hadn't cared.
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Date: 2024-09-13 11:47 pm (UTC)And to think that foul man had been made manifest to terrorize Sephiroth in a Trial... Yes, the teen gets a look that seems sharp, but the anger is not directed at him. Nor is the hint of anguish. Victims, the lack of remorse on whom the specimens were. Yes that's very Hojo in nature.
But the suggestion that Sephiroth might have been subjected to something so twisted as to watch another undergo the professor's usual games? Maybe, just maybe helpless to act? That hits far too close to home.
Which brings it back to his abrupt statement, questioning the teen's knowledge of Familiars. It's with the puzzled look- one felt from another angle to the degree that Vincent briefly looks to confirm the matched motion of Casimir's glance- that he realizes he might not have filled in some much needed context. Internal thoughts do sometimes need to be external. Usually he remembers, but might he be forgiven for being distracted by this subject?
"I understand the reasoning." Not wanting to call on others and subject them to that. "But... you don't have to bear that alone. I'm no stranger to that nightmare." And Vincent is going to look at Sephiroth directly, red eyes knowing. "While I appreciate your answer might be that's all the more reason not to drag me into it, think of it more like being able to face whatever the Trial wants from you with someone that isn't a stranger."
And isn't a stranger to at least some of those things that the teen wants to leave buried. If it's even possible to join Sephiroth. And.... Yeah that wasn't exactly what Vincent wanted to address when he brought up the familiar bond.
"Sorry, that's... not what I wanted to say, though it's related. The bond. It's a connection between a Legend or Myth and a Familiar. It is... a way to share the stability of my emotions with you. It could let me know where you are. And... your condition. And you mine."
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Date: 2024-09-13 11:58 pm (UTC)For a little while, he says nothing, doesn't really move, which suggests he's thinking it over carefully, or at least something connected to what Vincent's said. There's a part of him that immediately whispers weakness. The implication his emotions were unstable - and perhaps they were, based on his observations while also a Familiar - and being hooked up directly to someone else's. Knowing their condition would mean feeling obligated to do something about it.
Not that he wouldn't already. But still.
"I don't think," is the eventual, slow, careful answer, "That having you turn up would allow the others trapped with me to go free, Thirteen would just see it as a good reason to inflict it upon you and them."
It's not a no, because he's still working it out, and what it might have meant for recent events. What could it have changed?
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Date: 2024-09-14 12:46 am (UTC)But... his hope?
"Wanting to join you in a nightmare... I won't pretend I'd find it pleasant." He has had more than enough of his own. "But I wouldn't mind dealing with far worse so you don't have to be alone."
What would have truly been terrible is not being able to reach Sephiroth and be there. But what might have changed? That... might be easier to answer than one suspects.
"...The bond itself would have been there. As a Legend, your emotions are amplified. It may have made a difference in the outcome, even if it was small."
And... Vincent could have been there waiting for some sign of Sephiroth to emerge from the trial. Or, if it had turned out to be some creature like the Fae inflicting such torment? Then he could have put an end to it abruptly and with extreme prejudice. Or tried to.
But the appeal there? Something that might help even emotions in high stress from being worse under the influence of the teen's Role.
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Date: 2024-09-14 01:00 am (UTC)Hojo had been wrong. He was still capable of such weaknesses. There were still flaws, he was unfit for the battlefield. Emotion was going to get him killed too, that he'd simply come back didn't change the original error.
It couldn't have gotten much worse than it was without Sharon actually dying to his inaction.
He could still feel the heaviness of the disapproval of watching spectres wearing his team's forms. Could still hear the grind of the axe against stone and concrete, if he closed his eyes and listened, felt.
The guard hound shudders like a horse shaking off flies and discorporates in a boil of black smoke that rapidly fades into nothingness.
"I have a condition."
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Date: 2024-09-14 01:09 am (UTC)Nor did he miss the teen's use of the phrase 'act as he should have'. Something had happened then. And it implied Sephiroth had not just been held back or in a forced to be helpless state. When confronting these monsters, maybe the one shaped like Hojo, he had not been able to act.
Enough that the presence of Casimir is gone, perhaps drawn back into the youth but certainly unwilling to sustain presence. Vincent will be coming back to this. Maybe soon while it is still part of the topic; perhaps another time. But first there is something else to address.
"What is it?" There is no hesitation and no judgement in demanding such a thing, though Vincent's words do not commit until he's heard it.
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Date: 2024-09-14 01:40 am (UTC)It's not comfortable for many reasons. "Not their old friends from back home." The gemstone bed of the river glimmers in the sunlight, the wisps of distant mist never stifling their brightness. "Even if they don't deserve having to deal with me, that's too bad for them. You were upset when I told the other one you were not my father. You asked me before what-if. If you want the role of parent, then you will do what parents do, and put their offspring first. Not second, not third, not 'what about your friends from your time'."
"Linked that way, you know when .. if I do go mad, I'll drag you down with me."
Shameful. He knows it, by his bearing, by the tone of every word. "I expect no less than what the Professor has done, and he ... is utterly focused on what he thinks is best for me. Argued for me in front of the other directors even when I failed, dragged me out of containment when I wasn't strong enough and put me back together. The only person in my life to ever fight for me time and again was that embarrassment of a man." His actual father, unloved, despised, a figure of terror and hatred. "If I can't trust you'll do even that much.."
It sounds horrendous to his own ears. He knows the harm his mere existence causes. He's never allowed to forget. "I want a promise that if it becomes a choice between anyone and myself, you will choose me." He expects a negative, with how utterly selfish it is. What right did a monster have in demanding equal status to people, a weapon to want to come before dear friends?
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Date: 2024-09-14 03:24 am (UTC)These thoughts occupy the gunman's mind- the repetition of what he already knew about the bond between Familiars and the other Roles having importance in the structure but something he'd already known when he made the offer- as he carefully listens to each and every word and its nuance that Sephiroth utters; trying to truly absorb what the youth may be going through in those moments. Even when the silver-haired teen doesn't look at him directly for long, Vincent's regard can certainly be felt. Though for a moment it changes and there's no need to guess for what reason. He's already reacted poorly to Hojo before just in this conversation alone.
Vincent does not like to hear the outline of this warped sense of parenting Sephiroth envisions as 'at least he was there'. It's galling and to his mind possibly far worse than whatever twisted draw Jenova had for the young man ten or so years from now. At least the Calamity had been alien, inhuman. Hojo had turned his ambition, the one thing he perceived was his greatest success and personal achievement, into someone who proffered this as comparable to a loving father who fought for him.
Thankfully hidden by the collar of his cloak, Vincent clenches his teeth against the bitter, sharp opinion he has for that terrible man. As much because it hits hard. And he doesn't want to hear Sephiroth's reminder that Vincent had no room to speak on what good parenting should be. The youth, if he looks up from time to time, may catch Vincent casting his gaze sharply to the ground beside him so as to hide his anger, but he's still listening. And once he composes himself again, that gaze comes back. Vincent finally speaks up for the first time, soon after Sephiroth draws his words to a close.
"Yes, I was upset." He was more upset at the reminder of what his own actions wrought upon the Sephiroth of his time, though it is hard to see them as separate when the teenager is before him here and now. At least in that respect. But it might as well have been upset at not being the young man's father; even if that was only in the way it counts. Honestly, maybe he was just mentally splitting hairs.
"I'd fight with every fibre of my being to drag you back from madness." One of them will win. Vincent doesn't dare suggest it would be him because he simply does not know. Not who has the stronger will, not what this bond will do to affect that. All he does know is that he has a chance at it if he can be there.
And then... Put their offspring first.
"...I chose you when I kept you alive in Cruel Summer." Though there's a brief cast of his gaze to the periphery, Vincent draws it back to Sephiroth before he actually turns away. "It... may have been for Lucrecia's sake then. Her memory and what she would have wanted." A normal blink seems to last too long to be called that when he utters her name. Vincent's voice is growing softer with how quiet it's become, yet the sound of the river shallows tumbling the scattered gem and smooth stones does not mask it.
"But I think... it became you a while ago. I chose you, even if I haven't done a good job of showing it. Or knowing that myself. And... I promise to put you first."
And it's been... months now. Cloud has been in his life, he's met Zack now and there's Aerith's return from the dead too. But so much of what the dark haired man has been doing and focused on is Sephiroth. Awkwardly and yes badly in many ways. And caught in doubts about whether it was for Lucrecia or his friends, or for the boy himself. Maybe some mix of all three that can't be sorted. That... probably won't ever be completely gone; the uncertainty and the truth. At least, Vincent will always question it because to not have his friends and Lucrecia and everything else come in second and beyond- in no particular order- would be to dismiss everything that led to this moment in the first place.
But this request, putting Sephiroth first and drawing a line between that and the others and not crossing it, he can promise in the here and now.
"There are some things we should discuss. Absolutes that you want known now, in case the madness does claim you." And Vincent fights it long enough but cannot drag Sephiroth back. Or will the boy even now tell him to go to hell with him? And then there would be the matter of whether Sephiroth wants a servant- nothing new to the former Turk- who will follow him to hell, or a parent as he's quietly expressed desire for before and even now. But these talks could wait, perhaps never need to occur at all, for what Vincent begins to speak of next.
"...And, there is one thing I need to confess, before you agree."
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Date: 2024-09-14 02:23 pm (UTC)He remembers being told nobody deserves him. He wasn't going to forget it. It had been about Vincent's friends, their priority, their importance - which may be fair in the circumstances, but he knew who came first. He knew if real violence erupted who Vincent would choose to aid. "Is the burden of a bond offered to help me, or to soothe your sins by bearing the weight of a tether in order to keep me from troubling your friends further? Am I the purpose, or the convenient side effect?"
And he could understand it. If it had been Glenn, or Lucia, or Matt, if they were under threat even by someone he rather liked here, would he hesitate to put himself between them, and draw weapon alongside his team against those he thought of as possibly friends?
But those friends would have the right to be wary if he offered something that could be used purely to benefit others besides themselves. He wouldn't mention any of it if it weren't for the potential influence of that tether. Was it truly for his benefit, or was it a halter to keep him guided the way others felt he should be, render him a little safer for everyone else instead of what's best for him? Would he even know afterward if he was being steered towards some fate beneficial to a specific few people and not the planet at large?
What would it do to him, having it ripped away when returned to his time, entirely on his own? All it could be, could ever be, is a pleasant glaze on a dark and bitter future. Something that could only be here, and thus temporary.
He could allow the selfishness the demand was, when so little else was ever in his hands to be selfish over. It would do no good long term, after all. Vincent would be gone, the link to any stabilizing force gone, and all there would be is violence and death. There would be a price to pay later, and if he had to pay it alone in his own time and on his own planet far from the people to whom its forging would best serve, then there should be something good, something just for him, in the meantime. Something to hold onto, even if just in memory.
"It's a day for confessions, it seems."
no subject
Date: 2024-09-14 04:51 pm (UTC)"Yes."
The simple affirmative comes first, though before being structured by the nuance.
"Because of what I remember and experienced, it can't not be about those things to, Sephiroth. About your mother or my guilt and sins. About my friends. Sometimes, it's hard to separate my past and your present as two different realities. We just don't think that way all the time. I might be less human than I was, but I still make mistakes like that."
He never said Sephiroth was someone who no one deserved. To have someone consciously acting in a way that torments another for their own desires? Yes. He spoke about that. But he's also said to Cloud that this Sephiroth doesn't deserve Cloud's hatred. A pity that had not been witnessed. Well there's only going to be so many things that they ever have time to resolve or speak of. Who knows if that will make it to the fore?
"So to answer how many... I can't. But I'm sure it's been there even in my subconscious."
The former Turk turns his full focus on Sephiroth. Vincent's gaze can be the easiest way to see emotion from the man. Earnest and sincere, trying to drive home the importance of the meaning in his words.
"When you go back, if you meet Cloud or Aerith... they won't be the same ones that found my resting place in Nibelheim." ...Not even the ones here, really are that... probably. It's strange and something that's hard to dwell on.
"If you meet your mother.. your biological mother, she won't be 'my' Lucrecia. But... you will be the first Sephiroth I have come to know. The mad creature of my time was not you. Never will be you in the same way even if you do end up sharing his fate. I can't deny that those things you mentioned haven't shaped things. But the young man I worry about who hasn't been eating, or is going to dangerous situations alone or comes back injured. That night in Wintermute where it would have been easy to think you were an adult. That's only been you. And I do those things for you."
The hug he gave the tired, heartsore teen who looked like his adult self? That was for the boy. Not something calculated by whether it would help Vincent's friends or the world. It hadn't been about what Lucrecia would have wanted him to do.
"The bond is for you. The ones that could speak about forgiveness for my sins.. absolving them. They're dead or gone. What I do for you won't change that."
Vincent will be hurt by the parallels and reminders but certainly he would deserve no less. And he's learned whether or not he desires, can get or even seeks forgiveness, he still must steel himself to face such things from time to time.
But is that enough? Is what Vincent just said something Sephiroth can accept? Particularly as the dark haired man continues with his confession.
"...After I tried to kill you, I didn't know how to approach." When he'd seen the boy for being a boy and not the madman who needed to be stopped. Maybe it had been more for Lucrecia at that time but he'd still been concerned. And then there had been the talk over icecream which had simply cemented that feeling.
"So... I kept watch. But I also disguised myself and came to you."
It is with that, the man shifts his seat and leans forward. In the midst of the action, he shrinks upon himself, themes of red all but disappear to be replaced by black. Fur and tail, pointed ears. The red is still there but only in the eyes.
Until only the Cat remains; quite a vulnerable state if one were to think about it. It always had been a risk. And the cat... no, Vincent speaks.
"This has always been me." There was no cat he took and replaced. Just... him.
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Date: 2024-09-14 08:33 pm (UTC)And so he says nothing, there's no counterargument, no questioning any of it no matter what he thought or felt about any of it.
The only time he moves or even looks at Vincent is when the Turk becomes a very familiar black cat, expression as blank as a doll's.
Something changes, irrevocably.
The cat had been a companion for some months. A warm furry point of solace, enough to disrupt routine and insist Nero not trouble the beast, enough to set aside time and resources for care and feeding, but it had been .. a cat. Privy to things he would never allow a sapient being to see, to hear. The shame of childish tears, the aftershocks of fear in nightmare after nightmare, foolishness, games, confessions and arguments with the movies and shows he'd chosen to watch with no audience to see or hear him, all the things that would be humiliating in front of another person, never breathed a word of to another person, but in front of a cat?
A cat didn't care about any of it. A cat didn't give unwanted advice, didn't judge for anything other than an empty dish or a too-tight hold. It was fine. Even if a cat could understand, who would they tell? They couldn't speak.
Vincent is not a cat.
This is not the first time he'd assumed an animal was just that, and found out otherwise. He would never trust another animal again as nothing more than a beast, in any place that had shapeshifters.
There were a thousand little things he'd have never revealed to the man. A raw, unfiltered part of daily life, some ordinary, some utterly bizarre, all not for anyone to know who could understand what a sentence was, or wonder and worry.
"I see."
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Date: 2024-09-14 08:49 pm (UTC)There has never been a cat. Only Vincent. Whose voice is his own despite coming from a far smaller body, smaller lungs. Sephiroth had probably seen that before with the chocobo; part of some Familiar magic.
"To be honest, I wasn't sure it would work. But it did and... so I stayed. Too long probably." Because... Sephiroth seemed to need him in that capacity. Some creature, warm and alive and silent but at the same time companionable. It was something Vincent regrets having to ruin. But it couldn't continue if there was to be a bond.
The feline isn't returning to the shape of a man, not yet. But he does crouch down and lay on the ground, tail coiling around his body and waits. With the river breeze rustling his coat and the sun warming all, Vincent might have normally started to doze. Maybe in Sephiroth's lap while he fished. That can't happen anymore either. He doesn't speak again, giving Sephiroth time to think about what was just learned.
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Date: 2024-09-14 10:19 pm (UTC)The cat settles in a familiar loaf, but it's no longer the same cat. The pet he'd become familiar with the company of simultaneously was gone forever and never existed to begin with. The questions he'd asked of Folkmore at large on how to best care for a cat, now in retrospect, utterly absurd.
It takes a while before he says anything else.
Nothing had changed, and a lot had changed. Vincent had always been privy to the endless parade of things Sephiroth would have otherwise kept to himself. If he'd told anyone, Sephiroth's unaware of it.
There would never be another attempt to seek solace in soft black fur. What's acceptable with a pet is not with a person. Now ... now it would be weird. He'd wanted a leash, some manner of guaranteed control that he wouldn't be able to do more harm than necessary. He didn't think about what it would cost. How could it ever cost him a cat?
Eventually, there's a slow breath, drawn in and let out in a sound like resignation. He'd gotten by without the childish comforts of a pet before, he'd do so again. It would be good practice for what waited for him in his own time.
"How does this work?"
Weren't they supposed to hash out details on what was expected first? Eh.
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Date: 2024-09-14 11:42 pm (UTC)There is not even cold comfort in these truths. But they will be endured.
One ear swivels toward Sephiroth at the sound of his voice. The question. The cat rises and becomes a man again, crouching and finally rising to stand on two feet with all the grace of a practiced shapeshifter capable of easily recentering themselves between two practiced forms.
"There isn't any ceremony needed. I focus on establishing the bond with you. You focus on agreeing to take the bond. Words... probably aren't necessary."
Not really. They're just easier to frame it when it comes to two sentient individuals who communicate more in words than manner and intent. And that's probably all the explanation Vincent can really give about it; to him, it's almost like an instinct, as if he'd always known how. Simple enough.
But Vincent hasn't forgotten about the need to establish absolutes.
"What do you want from me?" A servant? A friend? A father?
"...What absolute act do you want me to take should the worst happen?"
Does Sephiroth, right now, want to be saved? Pulled back from madness? Killed or contained? Or should Vincent follow him to the end game? Sever the bond before he's dragged down?
Both are questions that should, almost must be made before the bond is in place.
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Date: 2024-09-15 12:13 am (UTC)It's a good thing that the second part of that question isn't voiced; what would he do with a servant? What would he do with a father? He had one, and that man was the source of so much misery, another taking that place would be begging for worse.
"Define 'the worst'."
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Date: 2024-09-15 12:24 am (UTC)A stark statement. The bond is for Folkmore and neither of them truly believe it is possible for this Vincent to follow this Sephiroth to that reality. ...And there is always the chance that Vincent will fall under that same sway, simply by being bonded to Sephiroth.
That is, oddly enough, less likely. But it is certainly a possibility.
"Save you? Kill you? Or be your ally, even if it means going to hell with you?"
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Date: 2024-09-15 12:51 am (UTC)An important clarification. "You can't return with me to my time. All we have is here." It's so important because it by necessity restricts what any of them could really do.
Save that as far as he can tell, Thirteen doesn't abide true evil in her world. "Mother Jenova isn't here, save what runs through my veins. You can't kill me. Not in a way that matters." There's something aggrieved in that statement, as if it's not a boast but a bitter, unhappy truth. "Thirteen would restore me, or I would restore myself in time. I am killed.. four? Four times? Five? Cloud twice. Your friends as a group and Cloud a couple of times, in rapid succession. What can you do that they could not, that could hope to also circumvent the Fox?"
That doesn't mean Vincent couldn't do anything. Just the usual methods a Turk knows best wouldn't.. really do much.
Maybe Chaos would have had the power. But not Vincent. "What if everyone's wrong, and it wasn't Mother Jenova doing anything at all, and it was simply the other half of my nature finally fully manifesting itself? I am a monster. Some domesticated ones stay safe. Others realize eventually what they are and what they're meant to do, and .. you can't keep them as pets anymore."
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Date: 2024-09-15 01:30 am (UTC)"Here, yes. But since you can return and experience your world from time to time... it's probably best to factor in the possibility." How that would pan out without Jenova directly influencing a 'maddened' Sephiroth once back in Folkmore? Who can say. There are a lot of unanswered questions, even for Vincent. For Cloud and Zack who were there.
"If I can't kill you, then I could contain you." Vincent, who'd closed his eyes in thought, opens them once again to regard the younger man. "There are ways. Not all of them rely on Thirteen's intervention. Or I could make a deal with the Fox herself."
It's not like he hasn't spent time thinking about this in the months since his aborted assassination attempt and subsequent learning that it wouldn't have worked anyway. How to help, but how also to stop the teen who didn't really want to harm people.
"If... I understand it right, the bond might let me exert some influence too. ...If you want it." But maybe he's confusing that with other types of bonds that can be requested. "Worst case scenario, I would know where and in what mental state you're in and can act on it."
For a moment the gunman's eyes shift but this time it's simply another indication of thought. "Hm." It's... not a faulty point at all. The Calamity always seemed to be part of the catalyst, taking advantage of Sephiroth's proximity and mental, physical weakness at the revelations of his past. But what if it wasn't? Or wasn't just that alone.
Monsters are monsters. Fiends are fiends and animals are animals. ...People were people. It was better not to interact with them as if they could be forced forever into a thing they were not. Where did that leave specimens like Sephiroth? Vincent?
"It's... a possibility." One that also should be as it put it, 'factored in' as a possibility. "Monsters tend to respond to strength. Maybe that's why that Sephiroth became obsessed with Cloud." The blond's strength was something that couldn't be measured by numbers and stats or science. Somehow Cloud killed Sephiroth without any enhancements. Somehow overcame being a mere puppet to defeat the man again. And then again.
"What do you propose?" Sephiroth does seem to have thoughts on it. And Vincent does too, but he knows Sephiroth views him as the weaker. And right now, he would be imminently correct, whatever the former Turk meant earlier by 'there are ways'.
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Date: 2024-09-15 04:52 pm (UTC)An inevitability, but he had .. a decade or two before that time would arrive, didn't he? He might not be mature enough physically, or some other thing, that made it unlikely while he was still small. Except he fully intended to confront Jenova long, long before Nibelheim's fated day to burn.
No comment at ALL on Sephiroth's future obsession. He knew why HE thought Cloud was awesome, if those opinions differed he didn't want to bother guessing why. Was it really just because Cloud defeated him? That's not his reason. Or at least, not only.
He has thoughts on it but not ones that would be effective and he knows it. The most assured path forward is finding a way to keep him dead, before the part of him that is planet devouring interstellar plague stirs awake. "I don't know. I don't know if we're wasting time trying. What if all I'm doing is making it harder for anyone to stop me later?"
Practicing powers he shouldn't have access to simply through ignorance, but once he'd known they were there he'd deliberately started looking into it, testing out what might or might not work - things he wouldn't have done for years yet.
It's put aside, deliberately but with effort. "A problem for future me. I don't think I'm suddenly going to go frothing mad and set about eating everyone I can around me, even if I can understand ... why I might have wanted to."
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Date: 2024-09-15 07:14 pm (UTC)Vincent agrees to clarify and yet... that agreement seems to be needed, as well as a pause, to collect himself. There's a way he looks around himself as to be clear they're still alone. A subtle suggestion that he's bracing himself. Well... Sephiroth's been around the man enough to probably pick up on the signs. It's not an easy thing to talk about.
"You've seen my other form. And I know you regard me as weaker than you in a direct confrontation. You're right." Hence his reliance on trickery, on wearing the boy down in Cruel Summer.
"Shortly before I came here, I... hmm. You could say I sacrificed the greatest part of my power to save the world. Something I hadn't mastered until the end, in case you're wondering. This was something Sephiroth was involved in."
...As in, why he hadn't used it to confront the Sephiroth of his timeline. And why it was not one of those events that he already spoke of under the influence of ice cream.
"I can go into more detail about it. But I can say it's closer to your power as an adult than I am now. I can ask the Fox to recover that."
There's no indication that Vincent is trying to avoid those details. It's just that... Sephiroth's narrative had other statements that seemed... important enough not to avoid an immediate response by going into detail about Chaos.
"...Harder but not impossible." If only because Cloud seems to have the.... something indescribable to simply match the will and determination of his foes. Vincent's gaze is steady on Sephiroth. "There's nothing that can change what you are. But... that strength you're worried about is something you can use too. Whether it's to resist Jenova or remain resilient against what lies ahead."
Deliberately put aside but not... left to rest it seems. Vincent takes a moment of reflective silence; as much sorting his own thoughts as debating whether it would be a good idea to speak up at all. Then...
"What I know is a mix of speculation. Theories. Some of it is probably close enough. The rest... and Sephiroth's state of mind, I can't say for sure. Do you want me to tell you? Some... are possibilities that might be far from the truth."
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